Mid-Year Reflection

Getting through this year has been quite challenging, to say the least. I found myself burnt out most of the time, but I wouldn't describe it as "senioritis." My motivation and focus were constantly disturbed by questions such as "why am I doing all this for" and "what is the point of me being here?" At many points in the year, I lost all motivation as well and it was a struggle to get back into the flow. I also had many more opportunities to reflect on the kind of person I am because of college apps, and I have concluded... that I still have no idea what I am.

So I'll start with my goal: I want to find a sense of purpose before I graduate.

There are so many things that interest me and a lot of things I am good at, it seems like there is a platter of opportunity laid in front of me with so many good choices that it's left me overwhelmed (by platter I'm not talking about college majors or acceptances). In order to know which one is the best for me, I need to have tried all of them before, which is unfortunately not possible in today's time. Every opportunity you find to taste a path will be slightly different than the real deal, you'll never truly know what you're getting into until you've tried it yourself.

I know this won't be an easy task. It won't come with just long periods of deep contemplation, or even just existing and taking note of everything that happens around me. I don't know how it happens or if it will happen before I graduate, but I would be 10 times the person I am now if I found a place where I can give back and flourish.

I think I have made a good start at this throughout high school, I've taken as many opportunities as I can find and looked in and out through every aspect of it. I still haven't found it, but I think I will eventually if I keep on this habit.