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I Lost My Voice so I'm Trying to Find it Again

The sun beaming on me brightly Sweat running down my face Deep emerald grass offering some relief And the trees offering more My calves slightly aching  And an endless energy coming from my chest My mind is floating  And so am I Ignoring the limits of my body Feels like I rise 10 feet effortlessly with every jump Agility is peaking One more round and we’ll call it No, I meant two Let's do another The disk flies to me, and I miss the catch Finally breaking the tie in the other team’s favor We lost, but it’s the happiest moment for everyone The highlight of their day Free from the disappointment losing brings  True sportsmanship Derived from friendship I write poems mostly for myself, and this poem brings back special memories mostly for me since only I can understand every part of the environment. I tried to bring out the timeless feeling that comes when we are spending time with friends and the out-of-body experience that comes with prolonged physical exertion and someh...

The Unsaid That Bothers Me

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I know poetry is supposed to be abstract and leave room for unique interpretations, but those are what I fear the most. What if I get it wrong? What if I wrongly interpret the one thing the poet spent countless hours contemplating and make the poem go to waste? Is it the poet's fault for not being specific enough, or mine for not looking deeper? It might just be a personal problem, even while I'm daydreaming, I try not to contemplate philosophical questions which I know for sure can't have answers because, like the poems, they will only lead to more and more contemplating and result in mental strain. The only time however when I try to contemplate a poem is when I find something I disagree about. Now that I think about it, the best work I write is when I don't agree with someone/something. Take for example this poem I wrote in eighth grade as a response to Robert Frost. (please don't judge, it was almost 4 years ago) Rocks  (I had to meet the word count for the assi...

Mid-Year Reflection

Getting through this year has been quite challenging, to say the least. I found myself burnt out most of the time, but I wouldn't describe it as "senioritis." My motivation and focus were constantly disturbed by questions such as "why am I doing all this for" and "what is the point of me being here?" At many points in the year, I lost all motivation as well and it was a struggle to get back into the flow. I also had many more opportunities to reflect on the kind of person I am because of college apps, and I have concluded... that I still have no idea what I am. So I'll start with my goal: I want to find a sense of purpose before I graduate. There are so many things that interest me and a lot of things I am good at, it seems like there is a platter of opportunity laid in front of me with so many good choices that it's left me overwhelmed (by platter I'm not talking about college majors or acceptances). In order to know which one is the best ...

Psychology of Meursault and Zoya

          Zoya from Playing Metal Gear V and Meursault from The Stranger have very different ways of dealing with their problems. However, the coping mechanisms they use to do so are very similar. Zoya’s coping mechanism of sublimation and denial results negatively for his conscience while those exact mechanisms result positively for Meursault’s conscience. The two different outcomes show how much other conditions can affect someone’s conscience despite doing the same actions. Coping mechanisms are methods the human mind uses to decrease stress. If you are stressed, anxious, or mad about something, you may throw things across the room or express your emotions by painting or writing. You might even choose to block out your stress by completely ignoring the fact that it exists, which, creates more underlying stress for most people. The coping mechanisms mentioned in this analysis are sublimation, and denial. One thing to note about coping mechanisms is tha...

"Those Aren't Mountains, They're Waves"

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  I'll start by saying this movie is a masterpiece and this scene brings out more anxiety than my worst nightmares.  Christopher Nolan is one of my favorite directors, and his use of POV in this scene was done beautifully. The camera starts with a bird's eye of Cooper's ship and the crew, showing the sheer size and emptiness of Miller's Planet. It makes the crew seem insignificant and fragile even when they could be the only reason humanity survives the dying Earth. The camera doesn't even show the horizon, signaling that there is something coming but doesn't make it certain. This starts the building of tension. The next shot is still facing away from the horizon keeping the uncertainty for a bit longer. Switching to Cooper's POV, showing a peaceful horizon while a minor tone in the music causes sensory disagreement. It makes the viewer wonder, "Everything looks fine, but why doesn't it sound fine?” Anne Hathaway finally comments about the "mou...

Laughter

 We laugh for many different reasons, at our ourselves, at others doing questionable things, and sometimes because we are just happy. But my question is how exactly we developed the physical process of making rhythmic exhales as a way to react to something "funny." To date, humans are the only species known to understand and react to humor. But according to National Geographic, apes and rats also have their form of laughing/giggling in response to tickles, but not humor. Everything we have evolved to be is for a good reason, so what is it that made humans decide that humor was important? Every search I did left me at “laughing releases endorphins and dopamine” but we all know that. The one thing that sets us apart from other species is language that gives us the ability to convey complex feelings and messages. And we can only do this with others. The purpose of humor now is not much different than it was centuries ago, to bring people together and form connections. This could...

Time

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It's easy to think of time as a line, you can easily go back and remember what happened and think of what other possibilities can do for the multiverse. I always thought it would be great if I could use a time machine to go back to myself before high school started and tell myself all the mistakes I would make and somehow erase the "timeline" where I am not at my full potential. From the hundreds of movies we've seen about time travel, we know that it won't work and result in a worse reality.  I think time is more of a force that exists, one that affects different things in different ways. Like how a feather and a rock act differently with the same amount of gravity. Some things age faster, and some slower, like the lifespan of a mushroom, compared to that of a tree. Time can also exist at different intensities, we know that time moves slower near more massive objects (Interstellar for those of you who have seen it). The other thing about time being a force means ...